rest.

Lord, I am exhausted physically and emotionally. Be my rest, be my refuge. I will only find true rest in You. Let me rest in Your spirit tonight. Renew me Lord. Rid me of my selfish ambitions and rid me of feelings of self-pity, for they are displeasing to You as well as to myself.

The interruptions I received while writing this post last night are a example of how You are testing my ability to deal with unpredictable occurrences. I hope I responded in a manner pleasing to You by attempting to help my friends in need, however it made me sad that my time with You was interrupted.

I have no idea what You have in store for me today but it does not matter. I trust You Lord and I offer You all of today's joys and sufferings and I hope You will hold my hand as I attempt to do Your will today. I love You so much.

Today is the Sabbath day and I am going to spend time with You and hopefully learn how to relax haha.
You are awesome, it is so cool that You want us to take a day off. You want us to lay down and rest.

When you lie down, you will not be afraid.

When you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.

Proverbs 3: 24

testing.

I know You've been testing me ever since I came to JMU, but I think I'm a little more aware of the purpose of these tests this semester.

You reveal Your glory to me and I am filled with Your spirit. You assure me that Your love is all I need and that no one can take Your place. Just as I am feeling alive and well again You draw back a little bit. You let the darkness creep back into my life just a little bit to see how I will react.

Of course I don't understand it fully but I believe that You use people and events in our lives to bring us closer to You. Without trials, we keep You small in our lives because we are comfortable and seem to be satisfied.

Lord please continue to heal my heart and have patience with me as I struggle with the idea of these tests. My new goal is to stop asking for so much but instead listen, and give praise for Your plan that is on the way.

I love You so much Lord! One day I will pass all these tests and nothing will stand between us.
<3

starting fresh.

Lord, thank You for Your constant care. You have never once left me, despite all the numerous times I have failed to truly trust You. For the hundredth time I realize I need to let You heal the hurts in my heart and in my relationships on YOUR time, not mine. I'm sorry I try to control my life so much. It isn't actually mine and I'm sorry I act so selfishly sometimes.

It can certainly be lonely here sometimes, so thank You for literally always being here for me. And thank You SOOOO MUCHH for Sarah and Becca and the time we spent together tonight. I needed that more than anything to remind me why I'm happy here. I seriously feel Your presence more strongly when I'm around them and I could never thank You enough for putting me in that small group.

As You can see my concentration has been completely broken. I'm not trying to blame my roommate or anything but...yeah. I was so excited to get to write to You and now it just feels weird. Thank You for speaking to me through that book. I needed to hear that so badly. My hope is in You Lord, and with You there is no room for depression or self-pity. Please continue to work in my heart as well as his. I do not even know how he is with You anymore and it makes me sad to see the lack of progress but all I can do it pray for him and know that You will never give up on him. I love You Lord and I always will. I want to love You better, please come nearer to me this semester. Help me to keep my eyes and my heart fixed on You, for only You know what I truly need. Amen <3 

new year, clear mind :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR :)

Praise the Lord for such a wonderful break! You make me so happy, Lord. Please continue to be my light and my refuge. You lift me up when I fall, for Your strength is made perfect in weakness. I'm on fire for this new year and all the upcoming chances to bring You glory! I cannot thank You enough for the work You've been doing in my heart. Please continue to do so, for I want to be closer to You every day. This post offers nothing but praise. God, You are so good. Thank You for having unlimited amounts of patience with every single one of us. Your love is astounding.