1. Let go of the pressure to have the best time of your life.
Something about leaving the country makes you feel like everyday has to be a huge magical adventure. People will want to hear about your trip and you want to be able to say it changed your life/it was incredible/you wish you could go back. The truth is not everyday is going to be perfect. If it was it wouldn't be real life. Embrace the good days as well as the bad and let yourself be free to just exist.
2. Challenge yourself to be less needy.
In America we know exactly how to get everything we want when we want it. Traveling requires us to be problem solvers such as to find the nearest bathroom, buy water, get food, etc. As you're going about your days ask yourself if what you're looking for is really necessary. You'll be surprised how long you can go without things and if you just go a minute more without whatever it is you may realize you don't actually need it.
3. Take at least 5 minutes a day to reflect.
There's no way you're going to be able to process everything as it's happening. Slow down at the end or middle of each day to talk through what went well, what didn't, how you want to improve tomorrow, and make a list of things you're thankful for.
4. Break free from the group more than once.
It's easy to go with the flow of the group and just do what everyone else wants to do. It's a safe choice because if it's fun you're having fun too and if it's not so great you're not the only one having a not so great time. But maybe what the group is doing isn't truly what you want to be doing. Slip away a few times and you may surprise yourself. You may find something you didn't even know about or discover independence is not such a bad thing at all.
5. Be kind to everyone you pass.
You represent the country you are from and you'd be surprised how easy it is for people to tell where you're from. Maybe the country you're in isn't as polite as your country. Be polite anyway. Maybe people push and shove more than at home. Don't get upset. Don't be less you. If you don't shove people at home don't shove people in the country you're visiting.
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
prayer for peace of mind.
I lift up every girl on this trip to You, God. Fill up our hearts and minds with what is actually filling....You! We came to London with high expectations and this hunger to explore, find, and DO sooooo many awesome things. It was unrealistic actually. Everything we crave, everything we need, is found in You and in You alone. Traveling to a foreign country is great and rewarding but a poor substitute for what we truly need, which is You. Help us see this Lord! Help us realize this. This trip has us feeling empty because we don't need. Everything this trip has to offer is fine but it's not enough. Only You are enough. I pray You meet each girl where they are at on these last few days. Crash down on this group of girls with Your awesome spirit. Overwhelm us with Your love. I feel it and I want everyone else to. Use ME, Lord. Use me. Bring them to me and fill me with Your strength to help point them towards You. Use Olivia. Use all of us. Use our brokenness. Use our weakness. Turn this around for us. I'm begging You Lord. Make magic happen on this trip. I feel so empty without touching base with You. You are the ONLY thing that fills me up. Any of us. We need You we are desperate for You. Communicate with us. Open our hearts and our EYES to Your beauty, Your glory, Your saving power, Your grace, show us all of it. Unite us in Your spirit. Heal our wounds. Close our mouths. Open our eyes. I can't pray these prayers enough God. I'm running out of time on this trip. We are running out of time. Lead me. Cleanse me. Use me.
In Your holy and precious name,
Amen.
<3
In Your holy and precious name,
Amen.
<3
Thursday, July 3, 2014
round 2.
THREE AMAZING PERFORMANCES. [Wednesday, Friday, Saturday]
Acrometria: Tricks but with a story line! Such a treat. In the beginning the girl was sitting high up on a pole and there was smoke surrounding her. She did a solo that was risky and tricky and insanely impressive. She was practically falling off the pole but always catching herself in obscure and strong ways, such as with just one leg. Then she was joined by a man who seemed like he was trying to get her down from her post. Like he wanted to tear it down and make her join him. It wasn't aggressive but there was definitely tension between the two of them like she did not want to leave the comfort of the post. Through a series of carefully placed steps and props and the addition of another man the stage was completely transformed into the next scene with large and small wooden boxes. This part made me think of Tsveta's piece because they were clearly moving things around intentionally but it was kind of arbitrary to the audience, giving us a lot to ponder. The setting took me to outside in a dark alley, but not in a creepy way. It felt like they existed only out on the streets and their relationships were carefully woven together throughout the show without it feeling like there was a couple or any romantic relationships. It was intimate between all three of them without being sexual. The most awe-inspiring moment was when the largest man held both of the other performers on his shoulders and was able to walk around in circles. I truly appreciate their artistry, strength, and humility.
Edge: My favorite show yet! (I have a feeling I will be saying that a lot...) I was particularly interested in the first piece. Six performers lined the sides of the stage (3 on each side) and one at a time they verbally asked each other to "be" parts of a living room such as the TV, the bookcase, the couch, the table, etc. Each time, the performer would address another by name so the audience got to know each performer, making us feel included and connected. The lines had playful variations such as when someone decided they did not want to be the piece of furniture somebody asked them to be or when they fought over being the bookcase or when they would represent the piece of furniture with movement and then ask, "How was that?" and the other performers would respond. It was also cool how they would say 'You're welcome' in various languages. It added character and gave information about where the performer was from. What struck me most about this piece was the precision of their movement for sure. Every limb was carefully, forcefully and purposefully placed. It showed off the style of the company and drew us in for the rest of the pieces.
The solo that was a part of this first piece was definitely a stand out moment in my opinion. It also involved text. She would recite three lines: one in pretense (ex: I want to move); one in present tense (I am moving) and the third in past tense (I moved). So simple yet made me feel so much and think about how quickly time passes. Especially when she said "I have three kids" then "I had three kids." It made me think about my mom who is an empty-nester. She feels like her role as mom is coming to an end and it was really all she ever wanted in life so she struggles with what's next and what's left for her to do here on earth. The groups of sentences also made me think about less emotional things like even this trip. For months I've been saying "I'm going to London." Now I'm in London. In a week I will have been to London. Time is an interesting concept. It often plays a role in contemporary/modern dance and I appreciated how simply and clearly this concept of time was presented. The solo wasn't even very long. Just a brief little blip that gave me a million things to think about.
The second piece they did was not my favorite but I enjoyed the precision of it as well. The score was the droning sound of a metronome to set the pace for the numerous walking and running patterns the performers followed. I would be highly surprised if this had not been collaboratively choreographed, because everyone's path was so intricate and personal that it would have taken forever for a single choreographer to map out each performer's pattern. The large group of performers were either wearing one of two colors: red or gray. I kept waiting for them to separate by color but they never did. Even when they made groups there always seemed to be a perfect ratio of red to gray costumes. It made me feel like there were people of two different types whether that means they're from a different place, of a different race, or whatever and they were existing peacefully.
Playlist/Dance Sampler: Where do I even begin? From a campy hip hop piece to some intense ballroom action to even a pas de deux...I can't deny the show had it all. But the final piece by the Jasmin Vardimon company made sitting through a solo of a man decked out in sequins completely worth it. The piece was called "Tomorrow" but to me that has no relevance. I later found out the piece was a conglomeration of different works Jasmin has made, but you never would have known because it was put together so seamlessly. In the beginning there was a soloist and eventually a large group came swooping by multiple times until eventually they went through her and somebody replaced her. This happened a few more times, each time the group travelled across the soloist, he or she was replaced by a different one. It was seamless and I was captivated. As strange as it may sound this whole section had me thinking Jasmin was commenting on the poultry industry. The soloist's costume had a huge red stain on it and there were feathers everywhere and when the group sweeped across the stage their quick loud exhales sounded like blades combined with the blade movement of their arms. The use of feathers to create a world in which the performers existed was completely necessary. The skill in which the dancers went into and returned from the floor had me believing for a second the ground was made out of feathers. It was like they didn't have bones or the floor wasn't hard...either one the dancers were in perfect relationship to the floor and you could tell they work on those transitions for probably hours a day haha. My favorite section of this piece was when the (9?) whole group of performers were in a loose diagonal line and they performed several expertly executed canons/ripples up and down the line, changing their relationship in space to each other each time. What they did was seemingly so simple but had to be insanely hard. Each person's part was so unique and entirely dependent on the chain reaction before or behind them. Who knew the simple compositional element of canon could turn into something I could watch for hours?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Limon Contemporary class at Dance Works
Stephen Pelton
I thoroughly enjoyed the Limon contemporary class taught by Stephen Pelton. Suzanne would definitely approve of his teaching methods. Parts of the final combo were built into the warm up combinations so we didn't have to remember all new material. Foot work was perfectly challenging. I wish there had been floor work but it was good to focus on alignment, off-axis balance, and weight transference. These are the principles I believe the class was focused on. It was good for my arms because they were specific and clear, instead of loosely placed or "free." My arms are always a mess when the instructions are "just let them be free" or "natural." Naturally, my arms are awkward haha so having a place for them definitely helps. I also liked how this instructor learned our names and integrated us into the class smoothly. He taught a series but we didn't feel behind and he still was able to push everyone who had taken the other classes with him. He was genuine but not overly nice. I would definitely take class from him again. Overall the class was highly technical and exactly what I wanted.
Final combo:
-step out
-bent leg slides up standing leg (jazzy)
-rond de jambe
-chest concave inward
-side lateral tilt
-tombe pas de bourree
-3 sweeps inward in a semi circle
-out to second
-lift leg a la second; passe; arabesque saute
-shasay back; left tilt
-series of rond de jambes into "propeller" and ball change
-straight arms up step behind; walk walk; step in front
-sweep side ball change (arms in soft)
-pas de basque place leg down turned in
-turn out other leg and arabesque turn on it
-collapse over in fourth
-rond de jambe to start again
Acrometria: Tricks but with a story line! Such a treat. In the beginning the girl was sitting high up on a pole and there was smoke surrounding her. She did a solo that was risky and tricky and insanely impressive. She was practically falling off the pole but always catching herself in obscure and strong ways, such as with just one leg. Then she was joined by a man who seemed like he was trying to get her down from her post. Like he wanted to tear it down and make her join him. It wasn't aggressive but there was definitely tension between the two of them like she did not want to leave the comfort of the post. Through a series of carefully placed steps and props and the addition of another man the stage was completely transformed into the next scene with large and small wooden boxes. This part made me think of Tsveta's piece because they were clearly moving things around intentionally but it was kind of arbitrary to the audience, giving us a lot to ponder. The setting took me to outside in a dark alley, but not in a creepy way. It felt like they existed only out on the streets and their relationships were carefully woven together throughout the show without it feeling like there was a couple or any romantic relationships. It was intimate between all three of them without being sexual. The most awe-inspiring moment was when the largest man held both of the other performers on his shoulders and was able to walk around in circles. I truly appreciate their artistry, strength, and humility.
Edge: My favorite show yet! (I have a feeling I will be saying that a lot...) I was particularly interested in the first piece. Six performers lined the sides of the stage (3 on each side) and one at a time they verbally asked each other to "be" parts of a living room such as the TV, the bookcase, the couch, the table, etc. Each time, the performer would address another by name so the audience got to know each performer, making us feel included and connected. The lines had playful variations such as when someone decided they did not want to be the piece of furniture somebody asked them to be or when they fought over being the bookcase or when they would represent the piece of furniture with movement and then ask, "How was that?" and the other performers would respond. It was also cool how they would say 'You're welcome' in various languages. It added character and gave information about where the performer was from. What struck me most about this piece was the precision of their movement for sure. Every limb was carefully, forcefully and purposefully placed. It showed off the style of the company and drew us in for the rest of the pieces.
The solo that was a part of this first piece was definitely a stand out moment in my opinion. It also involved text. She would recite three lines: one in pretense (ex: I want to move); one in present tense (I am moving) and the third in past tense (I moved). So simple yet made me feel so much and think about how quickly time passes. Especially when she said "I have three kids" then "I had three kids." It made me think about my mom who is an empty-nester. She feels like her role as mom is coming to an end and it was really all she ever wanted in life so she struggles with what's next and what's left for her to do here on earth. The groups of sentences also made me think about less emotional things like even this trip. For months I've been saying "I'm going to London." Now I'm in London. In a week I will have been to London. Time is an interesting concept. It often plays a role in contemporary/modern dance and I appreciated how simply and clearly this concept of time was presented. The solo wasn't even very long. Just a brief little blip that gave me a million things to think about.
The second piece they did was not my favorite but I enjoyed the precision of it as well. The score was the droning sound of a metronome to set the pace for the numerous walking and running patterns the performers followed. I would be highly surprised if this had not been collaboratively choreographed, because everyone's path was so intricate and personal that it would have taken forever for a single choreographer to map out each performer's pattern. The large group of performers were either wearing one of two colors: red or gray. I kept waiting for them to separate by color but they never did. Even when they made groups there always seemed to be a perfect ratio of red to gray costumes. It made me feel like there were people of two different types whether that means they're from a different place, of a different race, or whatever and they were existing peacefully.
Playlist/Dance Sampler: Where do I even begin? From a campy hip hop piece to some intense ballroom action to even a pas de deux...I can't deny the show had it all. But the final piece by the Jasmin Vardimon company made sitting through a solo of a man decked out in sequins completely worth it. The piece was called "Tomorrow" but to me that has no relevance. I later found out the piece was a conglomeration of different works Jasmin has made, but you never would have known because it was put together so seamlessly. In the beginning there was a soloist and eventually a large group came swooping by multiple times until eventually they went through her and somebody replaced her. This happened a few more times, each time the group travelled across the soloist, he or she was replaced by a different one. It was seamless and I was captivated. As strange as it may sound this whole section had me thinking Jasmin was commenting on the poultry industry. The soloist's costume had a huge red stain on it and there were feathers everywhere and when the group sweeped across the stage their quick loud exhales sounded like blades combined with the blade movement of their arms. The use of feathers to create a world in which the performers existed was completely necessary. The skill in which the dancers went into and returned from the floor had me believing for a second the ground was made out of feathers. It was like they didn't have bones or the floor wasn't hard...either one the dancers were in perfect relationship to the floor and you could tell they work on those transitions for probably hours a day haha. My favorite section of this piece was when the (9?) whole group of performers were in a loose diagonal line and they performed several expertly executed canons/ripples up and down the line, changing their relationship in space to each other each time. What they did was seemingly so simple but had to be insanely hard. Each person's part was so unique and entirely dependent on the chain reaction before or behind them. Who knew the simple compositional element of canon could turn into something I could watch for hours?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Limon Contemporary class at Dance Works
Stephen Pelton
I thoroughly enjoyed the Limon contemporary class taught by Stephen Pelton. Suzanne would definitely approve of his teaching methods. Parts of the final combo were built into the warm up combinations so we didn't have to remember all new material. Foot work was perfectly challenging. I wish there had been floor work but it was good to focus on alignment, off-axis balance, and weight transference. These are the principles I believe the class was focused on. It was good for my arms because they were specific and clear, instead of loosely placed or "free." My arms are always a mess when the instructions are "just let them be free" or "natural." Naturally, my arms are awkward haha so having a place for them definitely helps. I also liked how this instructor learned our names and integrated us into the class smoothly. He taught a series but we didn't feel behind and he still was able to push everyone who had taken the other classes with him. He was genuine but not overly nice. I would definitely take class from him again. Overall the class was highly technical and exactly what I wanted.
Final combo:
-step out
-bent leg slides up standing leg (jazzy)
-rond de jambe
-chest concave inward
-side lateral tilt
-tombe pas de bourree
-3 sweeps inward in a semi circle
-out to second
-lift leg a la second; passe; arabesque saute
-shasay back; left tilt
-series of rond de jambes into "propeller" and ball change
-straight arms up step behind; walk walk; step in front
-sweep side ball change (arms in soft)
-pas de basque place leg down turned in
-turn out other leg and arabesque turn on it
-collapse over in fourth
-rond de jambe to start again
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
prayer of thanks.
Dear God,
Why is it so hard for me to pray these days? I have so much to thank You for. I need to get back into the habit of writing to You. You are my whole world and I depend on You so greatly. You know my thoughts but You long to hear from me on my own will. I promise I desire to talk to You but I don't know why it is so difficult for me lately. It has been a long time since I have felt truly close to You. Am I avoiding a big decision I need to make? I am not having doubts. I know You are here with me just as much as when I feel close to You. I know it's not about how I feel but maybe You are trying to tell me something. I pray tonight not that You would make it more clear, as I am sure You are, but that You may open my eyes and heart to whatever it is You want to tell me. I need You Lord. I want to be close to You. Closer and more in sync. You are the one from whom all good things come. I praise You for that and for You are in my life and I praise You for Your presence on this trip. I pray for Your healing hand to be placed on Olivia's ankle and Emily's foot. I pray you continue to strengthen your angels who are surrounding us in transit and in classes and in our rooms. I thank You for their presence and for Your presence within each of our hearts. I pray each of the girls on the trip catch a glimpse of how You are making yourself known to them. I pray for the decisions they make and the thoughts they think. I pray they find themselves getting closer to leaning on You and desiring to know You. I thank You for each one of them and I am sorry for when I have bad talked any of them. They are your children and I love them, though not as I should. I am weak and covered in sin. I praise You for Your continuous renewal and forgiveness. I pray You help me find the strength to come and meet You in adoration at least a few mornings. I cannot do it without Your strength and will for I am a weak human. But a weak human who loves You more than I express. I am sorry I do not tell You enough. I love You Lord and I desire to live for and with You. Always.
Amen.
Love,
Emily
Why is it so hard for me to pray these days? I have so much to thank You for. I need to get back into the habit of writing to You. You are my whole world and I depend on You so greatly. You know my thoughts but You long to hear from me on my own will. I promise I desire to talk to You but I don't know why it is so difficult for me lately. It has been a long time since I have felt truly close to You. Am I avoiding a big decision I need to make? I am not having doubts. I know You are here with me just as much as when I feel close to You. I know it's not about how I feel but maybe You are trying to tell me something. I pray tonight not that You would make it more clear, as I am sure You are, but that You may open my eyes and heart to whatever it is You want to tell me. I need You Lord. I want to be close to You. Closer and more in sync. You are the one from whom all good things come. I praise You for that and for You are in my life and I praise You for Your presence on this trip. I pray for Your healing hand to be placed on Olivia's ankle and Emily's foot. I pray you continue to strengthen your angels who are surrounding us in transit and in classes and in our rooms. I thank You for their presence and for Your presence within each of our hearts. I pray each of the girls on the trip catch a glimpse of how You are making yourself known to them. I pray for the decisions they make and the thoughts they think. I pray they find themselves getting closer to leaning on You and desiring to know You. I thank You for each one of them and I am sorry for when I have bad talked any of them. They are your children and I love them, though not as I should. I am weak and covered in sin. I praise You for Your continuous renewal and forgiveness. I pray You help me find the strength to come and meet You in adoration at least a few mornings. I cannot do it without Your strength and will for I am a weak human. But a weak human who loves You more than I express. I am sorry I do not tell You enough. I love You Lord and I desire to live for and with You. Always.
Amen.
Love,
Emily
London: week 1
LONDON so far :)
Thursday
Performance: Bad Boys of Dance
Peacock Theatre
Friday
Class: Contemporary
Sonia Rafferty
Performance: Rian
Sadler Wells
Saturday
West End Live
Class: Michael Jackson Jazz
Anthony King
Show: Once <3
The choreography of the musicians was the most moving and wholesome performance I have ever had the privilege to experience. When "offstage" the performers were sitting in chairs on the outskirts of the stage so they were never not apart of the show. Use of props was intelligent- 2 chairs: at a table; 3 chairs: a bed. The transitions were seamless and carefully choreographed; wholly entertaining. Scene changes were quick, purposeful, part of the show. All of a sudden something new would be set up and performers would appear.
Sunday
Because the loaf of bread is one, we, though many, are one body, for we all partake in one loaf."
-1 Cor 10:17
Performance: Ubu Roi
Barbican (COOLEST THEATRE)
Monday
"Stop judging, that you may not be judged. For as you judge, so will you be judged, and the measure with which you measure will be measured out to you." -Matthew 7:1-5
Class: Jazz/Modern
Dare to Love - Ane Brun
Performance: 4D Sidi Larbi
Sadler Wells
Tuesday
"This day I set you over nations and over kingdoms...to build and to plant." -Jeremiah 1:9-10
Class: Adv Contemp Ballet
Tory (LAST NAME!?)
A huge and diverse class of about 50 people (mainly late 20s and older). Love how no one talks on the sides or anything but also was not an intimidating atmosphere. We were welcomed in and fit in pretty well. The teacher did not really give corrections but it was perfectly okay with me surprisingly. I finally let go of feeling like i had to prove myself and just took class for my benefit.
Thursday
Performance: Bad Boys of Dance
Peacock Theatre
Friday
Class: Contemporary
Sonia Rafferty
Performance: Rian
Sadler Wells
Saturday
West End Live
Class: Michael Jackson Jazz
Anthony King
Show: Once <3
The choreography of the musicians was the most moving and wholesome performance I have ever had the privilege to experience. When "offstage" the performers were sitting in chairs on the outskirts of the stage so they were never not apart of the show. Use of props was intelligent- 2 chairs: at a table; 3 chairs: a bed. The transitions were seamless and carefully choreographed; wholly entertaining. Scene changes were quick, purposeful, part of the show. All of a sudden something new would be set up and performers would appear.
Sunday
Because the loaf of bread is one, we, though many, are one body, for we all partake in one loaf."
-1 Cor 10:17
Performance: Ubu Roi
Barbican (COOLEST THEATRE)
Monday
"Stop judging, that you may not be judged. For as you judge, so will you be judged, and the measure with which you measure will be measured out to you." -Matthew 7:1-5
Class: Jazz/Modern
Dare to Love - Ane Brun
Performance: 4D Sidi Larbi
Sadler Wells
Tuesday
"This day I set you over nations and over kingdoms...to build and to plant." -Jeremiah 1:9-10
Class: Adv Contemp Ballet
Tory (LAST NAME!?)
A huge and diverse class of about 50 people (mainly late 20s and older). Love how no one talks on the sides or anything but also was not an intimidating atmosphere. We were welcomed in and fit in pretty well. The teacher did not really give corrections but it was perfectly okay with me surprisingly. I finally let go of feeling like i had to prove myself and just took class for my benefit.
Sunday, June 1, 2014
ownership.
This weekend was my first recital with InMotion School of Dance. What an insanely different experience than with Studio K. Both are phenomenally special in their own ways. The transition from recitals with Studio K to InMotion was interesting. It's funny how we always first think of different as bad. My first thoughts were negative such as "This studio is not as serious" or as fun or whatever my negative thoughts were. I even complained to my friends because they perform ballet with classic story lines which I guess I thought was weird but the truth was it's just different. How much I regret sharing my negative thoughts when I was transitioning. I am so thankful for this past weekend as it showed me that no matter the level of involvement or the format or content of the recital, one thing will always be the same: the preciousness of His children who perform in these shows. Preciousness may not be a word but I could care less because it is exactly the word I need right now haha. The children are obviously completely different than those from Studio K because they have been raised in different states. But their sweet smiles, surprising moments of sharing, hilarious stream of conscious thoughts that get blurted out, and all their crazy antics remind me why I love working recitals. And that's the same anywhere I may go.
This experience taught me to take ownership of new challenges or jobs I take on. Whether it's with the freshmen, or D4L, or a new studio, even if I am not used to it yet I need to speak about it confidently and in a positive way. I hate this feeling of "wow this really taught me a lesson." Not that it's a bad thing at all it's great! It's just that I would rather have a feeling of "I am so glad I had confidence in this undertaking, it really came through for me."
Ah well, such is life and such is my fickle heart always resisting change. Both studio owners are role models, and completely different ones at that, who I am so lucky to have in my life in such a supportive way. I know with full confidence these experiences will serve me well one day if I am ever fortunate enough to own my own studio someday.
This experience taught me to take ownership of new challenges or jobs I take on. Whether it's with the freshmen, or D4L, or a new studio, even if I am not used to it yet I need to speak about it confidently and in a positive way. I hate this feeling of "wow this really taught me a lesson." Not that it's a bad thing at all it's great! It's just that I would rather have a feeling of "I am so glad I had confidence in this undertaking, it really came through for me."
Ah well, such is life and such is my fickle heart always resisting change. Both studio owners are role models, and completely different ones at that, who I am so lucky to have in my life in such a supportive way. I know with full confidence these experiences will serve me well one day if I am ever fortunate enough to own my own studio someday.
Sunday, May 25, 2014
typical.
Typical Emily starting a blog and not posting to it for two years lol. And I started one last summer at ADF which I had one thousand percent forgotten about but you know what it happens.
So much has happened in these fast years, Lord. So many adventures, so many surprises, so many opportunities to seek You, some taken, some lost. I find myself revisiting feelings that led me to start this blog in the first place. Sometimes it takes this longing, this loneliness and feelings of incompetency that lead us back to You.
Here I am standing on the brink of my final year of undergrad. Amid the craziness of saying goodbye to some of the most amazing people I have ever had the blessing of knowing (class of 2014 dancers, I'm looking at you), a question keeps bubbling up in my heart. Where will I go after I leave this place? So much went into deciding this was the path I would take and now it's already time to make the next big move. Will it be a big move? Or will it be a safe return back to Jacksonville as if my 4 years at JMU were the most I would ever do?
It's time to trust again. It's time to internalize again. It's time to find you in the quiet of my heart again. The world has once again proved not enough. This discomfort in my heart scares me but also fills me with hope that I can come back to You and You will guide me to the next big thing. No matter how big or small it may be.
So thank You Lord. Thank You for always being available for me, when I know I need You and even when I forget. I feel like I have changed so much in these past 2 years but there is so much comfort in knowing that You have not. You are the same today as you were when I was a brokenhearted freshman longing to find my place in the JMU world. You are the same today as you will be exactly one year from now, a grown-up wiser version of that broken hearted girl. In a way I am the same too. I will always need my Father.
So much has happened in these fast years, Lord. So many adventures, so many surprises, so many opportunities to seek You, some taken, some lost. I find myself revisiting feelings that led me to start this blog in the first place. Sometimes it takes this longing, this loneliness and feelings of incompetency that lead us back to You.
Here I am standing on the brink of my final year of undergrad. Amid the craziness of saying goodbye to some of the most amazing people I have ever had the blessing of knowing (class of 2014 dancers, I'm looking at you), a question keeps bubbling up in my heart. Where will I go after I leave this place? So much went into deciding this was the path I would take and now it's already time to make the next big move. Will it be a big move? Or will it be a safe return back to Jacksonville as if my 4 years at JMU were the most I would ever do?
It's time to trust again. It's time to internalize again. It's time to find you in the quiet of my heart again. The world has once again proved not enough. This discomfort in my heart scares me but also fills me with hope that I can come back to You and You will guide me to the next big thing. No matter how big or small it may be.
So thank You Lord. Thank You for always being available for me, when I know I need You and even when I forget. I feel like I have changed so much in these past 2 years but there is so much comfort in knowing that You have not. You are the same today as you were when I was a brokenhearted freshman longing to find my place in the JMU world. You are the same today as you will be exactly one year from now, a grown-up wiser version of that broken hearted girl. In a way I am the same too. I will always need my Father.
Deep calls to deep in the roar of Your waterfalls; all Your waves and breakers have swept over me.
Psalm 42:7
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